Power Player Question, Vol. 2: Should I Move WWCD's Entire Operation to Dallas' New Executive Lounge or Just Use it for the Big Guns?

So next up in our ongoing series of elite discussions brings us to this new XL Executive Lounge on Knox and 75. Anything with "executive" and "lounge" is clearly a place for today's power players like yours truly, especially with these amenities. Multi-zoned co-working? Obviously you can't put the high-level executive bloggers in the same room as unpaid interns. Creative and Game Zone? I like to think I've spruced up our own digs a bit, but today's power exec is too busy to meet the entertainment whims of every low-level simpleton on his own. Adjacent Cafe with coffee, empanadas, salads, and more? Yea, we could definitely use some help with the office eatery. 24-Hour Access with key-fob entry? Every regional blogging tycoon knows 3am is the only decent time to clock in the quality posting, and I don't go through a door without a secured key-fob entry. Won't do it. My only question is if I should just permanently rent out a wing and show these faux exec's what mogul life is all about. Maybe I should just pay the ultra-premium rate to bring the high dollar clients in unannounced and commandeer any meeting room I want? That's gotta be an available package, right? We're Dallas executives here for crying out loud.

So Here's the Local Select Baseball Coach Who Was Arrested for Beaning a 15-year-old Over a Dozen Times

 

ELLIS COUNTY - A former Ellis County select league baseball coach was sentenced to 15 days in jail Tuesday for hurling at least 12 baseballs at a 15-year-old player at speeds of up to 80 miles an hour.
Ron Edgar Santos, Jr. was sentenced on Tuesday afternoon in Judge A. Gene Calvert, Jr.'s Ellis County courtroom. He'll spend 15 days in jail, pay a $500 fine, and be on community supervision for 18 months.
Santos was arrested in October 2012 for allegedly throwing between 12 and 15 "hard core baseballs" at a player who was struggling to stay in the batter's box, Ellis County Sheriff's Lt. James Saulter told News 8 then. Investigators could see baseball seams on the boy's body, as well as bruising and swelling on his arms, legs and back.
Santos defended the act to investigators as a "training technique."

I can appreciate tough love as much as the next abusive manager. I've lost count of the number of hot coffees I've thrown in the face of lazy interns after they blogged some three-day-old city hall snoozer. These entitled kids just don't listen. What I don't understand is why Ronny Santos was goin' head-huntin' when the kid WASN'T staying in the box. You think he's gonna step up now, Vicente Padilla? You couldn't pay me to crowd this bro's plate. Earhole city.

BY THE WAY - Speeds up to 80 mph means soft toss all day with a single sneaky heater to keep 'em on their toes. Walk it off, kid.

Screw the British, Dirk and Wife Announce Their Own Royal Offspring

DALLAS - Mavericks forward Dirk Nowitzki is a first-time father.
His team has confirmed that Jessica Olsson, the wife of the 2007 NBA MVP, has given birth to a daughter today, something reported by German newspaper Bild earlier in the day.
"I am proud to be a grandfather for the third time," Nowitzki's father, Jörg, told the paper. Nowitzki's sister, Silke, has two children.
The name has not been disclosed. Nowitzki and his wife were married in Dallas on July 20, 2012, in a quiet ceremony.

The big German just can't miss. Bangin' the bottom out of that open bucket with that high leg kick like it's his MVP year. Who says he's out of his prime? Sure diluting the Master race may upset the Motherland, but just wait twenty-two years when their women's national team is getting torched by an unguardable seven footer with a fadeaway jump shot as pure as their lineage. Brittney Griner better enjoy the precious few remaining years of her collegiate records.

FDA Doing It Big Per Usual, Bans Dallas Lab's Workout Secret's Jack3d and OxyElite Pro

DALLAS - USP Labs' Dallas headquarters doesn't actually look much like a laboratory. It's more of a nondescript warehouse in a sea of nondescript warehouses off Stemmons Freeway and Northwest Highway. That's where the company keeps its stock of its bodybuilding supplements for shipping to retailers like GNC or directly through its website.

One of its most popular products was Jack3d...
But Jack3d does more than boost workouts. It also allegedly kills people, most notably two soldiers who suffered fatal heart attacks during Army workouts after taking the product. That led the Defense Department to ban the product and others containing a compound called dimethylamylamine, or DMAA, from stores on its bases. Earlier this year, the Food and Drug Administration issued a public alert, warning consumers to steer clear of DMAA-containing products after confirming 86 reports of illness and death.

The agency has since been working with supplement companies to get DMAA off the shelves. According to a piece in The New York Times on Tuesday, USP Labs agreed to reformulate Jack3d and another product, OxyElite Pro, to make them DMAA free, which made the FDA happy. Then, it went about selling its remaining inventory of the product as usual, which did not.

Come on FDA, do you even lift, bro? Gym rats like me don't need some pencil-pushing government bureaucrat telling me what I can and can't eat, drink, snort, or inject to get that chiseled blogger's look like you read about. Whether its pushing that last bench set or crafting that hilarious, deadline-beating blog post, sometimes you just need a little nudge. Coffee, cocaine, topless interns, and innocent fat-burners that have only killed or injured a meager 86 amateurs are all in play if you want to remain a media tycoon in this town.

So Here's the Brother Who Was Arrested for Panhandling Naked, Showboating in South Dallas

Charles Lee Johnson

DALLAS - Johnson was back at Little World Food Store early this morning, once again asking passersby for money, only this time there was an important difference: He wasn't wearing any clothes.
It's unclear whether his nude panhandling was successful. Anyway, it wasn't long before a store employee called police and told them there was a naked man in the wheelchair harassing customers. A pair of police officers arrived and saw Johnson, who they note in a police report was indeed "on a wheelchair on the property panhandling."

It's a tough world for panhandlers just tryin' to make an honest living. Lurking cops, heckling teens, crippling shame, weak union benefits, you name it. As if I didn't need another reason not to toss my hard-earned blogging bucks into a sticky Slurpie cup though, whippin' out the ol' Black Mamba pretty much closes the deal. Doesn't matter how rich or successful some white dude is. If some crippled, homeless vagrant can just flash you and the wife the hog at a moment's notice, he knows he's cuckholded you. Better than a few crumpled singles, really. Emasculation city. You tell me every Wall Street Weinstein wouldn't trade places for one weekend just to have that kind of raw power.

Chicken Scratch Is Dominating the Local Billboard Game

Richards Group doing it big, per usual. Chicken Scratch and the Foundry give zero shits. They're still gonna throw down the best non-Katy Trail patio game around. The coolest places in every big city are in transitioning neighborhoods. They know it, and if you wanna keep up, you better know it. Think pulling up in some Mexican cartel mule's front yard is gonna slow down the J Blacks or Slip Inn crowds? Please. Gotta park in a car wash bay at Goodfriend? It was dirty anyway. Have to turn down panhandling transients while walking to Cane Rosso or Sunset Lounge? You don't even carry cash, bro. Whoever doesn't get signs like this doesn't belong anyhow.

The Five Most Ready-to-Bang Women at the Byron Nelson Championship

As a Dallas tradition is once again upon us, we examine the action outside the ropes. While the fairways and greens are in fine shape, the trim is in championship condition and ready to get a 19th hole stuffed.

5. The Wife

Doesn't wanna be here and doesn't care who knows it. She's put in the time, got the ring, and if she has to leave the villa for five minutes you're sleeping on the couch. God forbid you ask her to head out past 2 or 17 on foot, graphite is your only shaft getting action until Labor Day.

If You Think Katy Trail Ice House Opening Up a Plano Location Is a Great Idea, Then You're Missing the Point

 

DALLAS - A spinoff of the Katy Trail Ice House called Katy Trail Ice House and Outpost will open this month in the old Bandito's spot in West Plano, where it will do a suburban version of the popular Uptown beer garden and restaurant. Bandito's closed May 5.

Set to open "within the next 2 to 3 weeks," the second Ice House may not be on the Katy Trail, but it will have a similar menu, lots of beers and a big big patio, says co-owner Buddy Cramer.
"It's not meant to be an exact copy," Cramer says. "It's not as big. It’s in the 'burbs. We'll do some of the same things, like serve barbecue from an ice house, and we'll capture a lot of the Ice House spirit. But it's going to be a little bit different."

Oh really? A little bit different? For years there was one thing that I thought this town needed, and that was a bar on the Katy Trail. I just couldn't open one up myself cause I can only dominate one industry at a time. Sure enough, the Katy Ice House is the hottest spot in town on a pretty day, hands down. Anybody can offer mediocre food and craft beers, but few have a front row seat to the hottest of the city bouncing by in Lululemon's, tit jobs, and self-confidence. Take it off the trail and you're looking so far up to the Foundry or Saint Ann in patio superiority it'll make your head spin. I thought the whole original concept was to copy the eclectic Austin vibe. Now suburbia? Don't get me wrong, I'm aware that the Shops at Legacy could possibly support a smaller, ice house-style bar, but Park and Preston? What's your angle, Cramer? Cougar den? High school hotspot?