Looks Like TCU's Offense Wasn't the Only Shit Left at Amon G Carter Late in the Season

FORT WORTH - A report from the Texas Commission of Environmental Quality indicates that thousands of gallons of sewage were accidentally funneled from a locker room adjacent to TCU's Amon G. Carter Stadium into a nearby drainage ditch during the past six months. The concrete ditch eventually runs through the Colonial Country Club area and into the Trinity River.

"The problem has been corrected, authorities have inspected the work, and there does not appear to have been harm to the water quality or eco-life," the university said in a statement.

The line problem has since been fixed, and the report states the City of Fort Worth's Environmental Services Division inspected the area in question and gave the all clear.

According to a report, during recent renovations a sewer line for a redone locker room was inadvertently attached to a storm line that runs underneath the field, which funnels into the channel behind the stadium. Initial estimates were that more than 20,000 gallons of sewage water could have been released, but the actual figure is less than half that, according to the state.

Students like Kimberly McCleary were surprised to hear about the mistake. "It's unbelievable," McCleary said.

I knew I smelled something a bit pungent while watching Boykin's offense stall out over the last two games like Dan Marino's marriage. I just thought every OU fan smelled like an over-flowing port-a-potty left out in a Texas summer. At any rate, guess it wouldn't be good for the Colonial if they had to scoop out 10,000 pounds of the last journey of Stansly Maponga's chicken strips from the Trinity. Maybe if they made Casey Pachall do it with only a flimsy bucket and weak gag reflex, then at least attendance could rival the Grambling game.

By the Way - Yea, I omit stuff from the original articles, but I didn't touch this student quote. Some crack reporter at Channel 8 went all the way to TCU for a story about shit, and literally came away with it. Stopped some freshman Elementary Ed major on the steps of Colby Hall (that's still there, right?), scribbled two words, and thought... "OK, that's good. Better get over to Blue Mesa before happy hour's over." Real A+ reporting.

When Jay Ratliff Gets a DWI, Do You Think He Looks Like He Knows He Perhaps Didn't Learn a Lesson?

 

GRAPEVINE — Veteran Dallas Cowboys nose tackle Jay Ratliff was arrested for suspicion of driving while intoxicated early Tuesday morning.

 

Grapevine police spokesman Sam Shemwell said Ratliff's black Ford F-150 pickup truck went out of control after sideswiping an 18-wheeler in the 2800 block of Highway 114 shortly after midnight.

 

Ratliff was not injured after crashing into a guardrail.

 

Hey, it's not like there was some recent, tragic death of a close co-worker that could have served as an ominous precaution of the dangers of drunk driving or anything. It's really the NFL's fault for not ensuring adequate player safety and accounta- Oh screw it. Whatever gives Jerry a good reason to ship this injury-prone expense is outta here works for me. Jerry's gotta be at Al Biernat's tonight bustin' out the latest Papa John's rap to a confused Johnny Football and Mike Modano at the mere thought of it.

So What's Pat Green Been Up Too? How About Bringing West Village a New Backyard Bar and Concert Venue

DALLAS — A restaurant and bar with a backyard is opening at Lemmon Avenue and Central Expressway in West Village this spring. The new place will be called The Rustic and is owned in part by Texas country singer Pat Green. It may feel similar to Katy Trail Ice House in Uptown or The Foundry and Chicken Scratch in West Dallas: The Rustic is all about eating, drinking, and listening to music in a comfortable backyard, said owner Kyle Noonan.

"We did pull a lot of inspiration from the Texas Hill country," he said. The venue can seat 200 inside, 200 outside, or during concerts, 500-600 inside and 2,000 outside. Noonan said Stubb's in Austin is a good parallel in terms of size and space, though The Rustic won't confine itself just to country music.

The bar will have more than 40 beers on draft, most of which will be from Texas breweries.

Probably the first time in ten years I've thought, "Good job, Pat Green." Can't believe it took this long to fill the old Hank Haney driving range spot, and no question they paid a fortune for it. Just when you think West Village is starting to slip, with the departure of its biggest tenant, Borders, and the influx of the gay, they go and score with a Katy Ice House concept complete with live music, minus the guilt-inducing joggers. More tough news for House of Blues though, who will soon be the exclusive home of cheesedick cover bands for the suburban 40+ crowd and skater bands for the high schoolers.

Greenville Avenue St Patrick's Parade Sells Out to City, Hopefully Won't Have to Beg for Money

DALLAS - Around this time last year the beloved Greenville Avenue St. Patrick’s Day Parade was $40,000 short and in danger of being canceled till Mark Cuban cut a check. One year later, the parade that began rolling down Greenville in 1979 is no more, but in name only: As of today, it’s officially being rebranded as the Dallas St. Patrick’s Parade and Festival.
Desperados Mexican Restaurant’s Jake Levy, the parade’s organizer, says there won’t be any noticeable changes to parade-goers when it rolls down Greenville from, more or less, Park Lane to SMU Boulevard on March 16.

Let's get one thing straight. The Greenville Ave St Pat's Parade is the most fun non-sporting event in the state, hands down. What started as a pick-up truck parade of a handful of local businesses has evolved into 100,000 green-clad revelers who remain mostly oblivious to the hour-long procession of drunken bead-tossers. Since this region hasn't had Mardi Gras or big-time college football Saturdays, Dallas does this instead, for one glorious day. Without it, there are no silly postgame M Street house or block parties.

With that said, I'm a little relieved that, after the Greenville Avenue Area Business Association continually faced understandable logistical and financial troubles, it looks like it may get some reliable checkbooks behind it to solve problems like bathrooms, safety, etc. Selling out always comes with some hidden costs though, and it wouldn't surprise me one bit if those slimy city leaders enforce some new city drinking or crowd control codes to essentially kill it, or move it entirely. Anyone can go to Uptown to check out token hots, the deck park for hipsters, White Rock to trip-up marathoning yuppies, Lowest Greenville to high-five college dropouts, or Deep Ellum to laugh at burnouts. Greenville Avenue, on one Saturday morning a year, is where everyone is on the same keg-standing, pole-dancing, freakshow of a team. Hopefully Dallas can get something right this time.

Power Player Question, Vol. 1: How Many Cigar Cutters is Too Many?

The inaugural PPQ couldn't be a more important one for today's VIP. Every squid and their grandma has at least one cutter tucked behind their faded party napkins and dusty highballs, but what about the real tycoons? Obviously you've got one for travel, a go-to home cutter, and a back-up. Am I missing one? If I'm sitting at the back room at Javier's and this inevitably comes up, will I get laughed at with only three? I feel like it's right up there with comparing cocksize, horsepower, or models banged. You just can't come up short and expect a seat at the table next time, but I also don't wanna be some poser either. What's the play here?

It's Time to Finally Take the WWCD Patio Scene to the Next Level: Hottub Time

So the other day some bro says to me, "You know, you've got the raw power of a trained assassin with the world's biggest driver, can pair enviable size and stamina in the bedroom with hilarious wit in the office, is there anything you wish you had?" Even though I answered by condescendingly blowing cigar smoke in his face, it got me thinking. It was so easy all along. You can't be a baller without your own hottub. Can't do it. Not in this town. It's really an embarrassment that all this time I've been taking my mistresses to the cigar room or cabana house like some two-bit chump. No more. 2013 is a new year, and with our huge 4th quarter numbers, I can finally have my interns line my coke up on a spa rim like a respectable social drug user, and get a warm jet massage while an Avenu VIP hostess gives an underwhelming underwater beej. It's about time.