FDA Doing It Big Per Usual, Bans Dallas Lab's Workout Secret's Jack3d and OxyElite Pro

DALLAS - USP Labs' Dallas headquarters doesn't actually look much like a laboratory. It's more of a nondescript warehouse in a sea of nondescript warehouses off Stemmons Freeway and Northwest Highway. That's where the company keeps its stock of its bodybuilding supplements for shipping to retailers like GNC or directly through its website.

One of its most popular products was Jack3d...
But Jack3d does more than boost workouts. It also allegedly kills people, most notably two soldiers who suffered fatal heart attacks during Army workouts after taking the product. That led the Defense Department to ban the product and others containing a compound called dimethylamylamine, or DMAA, from stores on its bases. Earlier this year, the Food and Drug Administration issued a public alert, warning consumers to steer clear of DMAA-containing products after confirming 86 reports of illness and death.

The agency has since been working with supplement companies to get DMAA off the shelves. According to a piece in The New York Times on Tuesday, USP Labs agreed to reformulate Jack3d and another product, OxyElite Pro, to make them DMAA free, which made the FDA happy. Then, it went about selling its remaining inventory of the product as usual, which did not.

Come on FDA, do you even lift, bro? Gym rats like me don't need some pencil-pushing government bureaucrat telling me what I can and can't eat, drink, snort, or inject to get that chiseled blogger's look like you read about. Whether its pushing that last bench set or crafting that hilarious, deadline-beating blog post, sometimes you just need a little nudge. Coffee, cocaine, topless interns, and innocent fat-burners that have only killed or injured a meager 86 amateurs are all in play if you want to remain a media tycoon in this town.

So Here's the Brother Who Was Arrested for Panhandling Naked, Showboating in South Dallas

Charles Lee Johnson

DALLAS - Johnson was back at Little World Food Store early this morning, once again asking passersby for money, only this time there was an important difference: He wasn't wearing any clothes.
It's unclear whether his nude panhandling was successful. Anyway, it wasn't long before a store employee called police and told them there was a naked man in the wheelchair harassing customers. A pair of police officers arrived and saw Johnson, who they note in a police report was indeed "on a wheelchair on the property panhandling."

It's a tough world for panhandlers just tryin' to make an honest living. Lurking cops, heckling teens, crippling shame, weak union benefits, you name it. As if I didn't need another reason not to toss my hard-earned blogging bucks into a sticky Slurpie cup though, whippin' out the ol' Black Mamba pretty much closes the deal. Doesn't matter how rich or successful some white dude is. If some crippled, homeless vagrant can just flash you and the wife the hog at a moment's notice, he knows he's cuckholded you. Better than a few crumpled singles, really. Emasculation city. You tell me every Wall Street Weinstein wouldn't trade places for one weekend just to have that kind of raw power.

Chicken Scratch Is Dominating the Local Billboard Game

Richards Group doing it big, per usual. Chicken Scratch and the Foundry give zero shits. They're still gonna throw down the best non-Katy Trail patio game around. The coolest places in every big city are in transitioning neighborhoods. They know it, and if you wanna keep up, you better know it. Think pulling up in some Mexican cartel mule's front yard is gonna slow down the J Blacks or Slip Inn crowds? Please. Gotta park in a car wash bay at Goodfriend? It was dirty anyway. Have to turn down panhandling transients while walking to Cane Rosso or Sunset Lounge? You don't even carry cash, bro. Whoever doesn't get signs like this doesn't belong anyhow.

The Five Most Ready-to-Bang Women at the Byron Nelson Championship

As a Dallas tradition is once again upon us, we examine the action outside the ropes. While the fairways and greens are in fine shape, the trim is in championship condition and ready to get a 19th hole stuffed.

5. The Wife

Doesn't wanna be here and doesn't care who knows it. She's put in the time, got the ring, and if she has to leave the villa for five minutes you're sleeping on the couch. God forbid you ask her to head out past 2 or 17 on foot, graphite is your only shaft getting action until Labor Day.

If You Think Katy Trail Ice House Opening Up a Plano Location Is a Great Idea, Then You're Missing the Point

 

DALLAS - A spinoff of the Katy Trail Ice House called Katy Trail Ice House and Outpost will open this month in the old Bandito's spot in West Plano, where it will do a suburban version of the popular Uptown beer garden and restaurant. Bandito's closed May 5.

Set to open "within the next 2 to 3 weeks," the second Ice House may not be on the Katy Trail, but it will have a similar menu, lots of beers and a big big patio, says co-owner Buddy Cramer.
"It's not meant to be an exact copy," Cramer says. "It's not as big. It’s in the 'burbs. We'll do some of the same things, like serve barbecue from an ice house, and we'll capture a lot of the Ice House spirit. But it's going to be a little bit different."

Oh really? A little bit different? For years there was one thing that I thought this town needed, and that was a bar on the Katy Trail. I just couldn't open one up myself cause I can only dominate one industry at a time. Sure enough, the Katy Ice House is the hottest spot in town on a pretty day, hands down. Anybody can offer mediocre food and craft beers, but few have a front row seat to the hottest of the city bouncing by in Lululemon's, tit jobs, and self-confidence. Take it off the trail and you're looking so far up to the Foundry or Saint Ann in patio superiority it'll make your head spin. I thought the whole original concept was to copy the eclectic Austin vibe. Now suburbia? Don't get me wrong, I'm aware that the Shops at Legacy could possibly support a smaller, ice house-style bar, but Park and Preston? What's your angle, Cramer? Cougar den? High school hotspot?

How About the Balls on the Sacramento Bee Newspaper to Get a Big Laugh at the Expense of the 14 People Who Died in West?

 

So apparently over the weekend there was a big fuss in the Morning News and the Observer over Rick Perry issuing his disgust at the California capital's snickering before the smoke even cleared. The sub-human author even defended it and said he would do it again. I know I'd be pretty pissed too if I had to look at the scoreboard and see my state losing jobs and tax-paying citizens while drowning in billions of debt when compared to the Lone Star State. However, we've got one hard and fast rule around here, and that's to steer clear of death. I'd think an actual, established newspaper could at least try to keep up with our low ethical bar. But how about the lead story being, not the blatant indecency that started it, but Perry's reaction? What the hell's going on around here?

 

By the Way - Only scum-of-the-Earth Observer commenters would continue to use the backdrop of over a dozen brave emergency responders' deaths to go on anti-Rick Perry rants. Makes me feel a lot better about bashing 10-year-olds or pointing and laughing at hard-nippled exercisers.

Marry-F-Kill, NFL Draft Edition: Dallas Cowboys Top 3 Picks

31st pick - Travis Frederick
Center - Wisconsin

47th pick - Gavin Escobar
Tight End - San Diego St.

74th pick - Terrance Williams
Wide Receiver - Baylor

Marry - Travis Frederick
After whoring around with tarted-up, skill position tricks, sometimes you've gotta do what's best for the family. Sure you coulda gotten him much later, but we all know the 'boys can't go another year with their current snapping situation. He might not be the prettiest belle at the ball, but while others' looks will fade, Travis is still gonna log the hours behind the scenes and be that coach on the field.

F - Terrance Williams
Do we need another WR after apparently committing to a two TE set? Probably not. Every once in a while do you need to wear out some buzzed mini-skirt in a Sfuzzi bathroom stall? We're all human. Terrance is that tasty tempress you hazily spot winking in your direction near closing time. You know you shouldn't, but there's so much raw talent, and let's face it, there's just some things the wife won't do.

Kill - Gavin Escobar
I don't care what his last name is and the potential danger that killing him may put me in. I do know that this team has more holes than a Harry Hines hourly motel gangbang. We've got Witten signed through 2017, and Hanna, drafted just last year, signed through 2015 already at the limited position. Both my bookie and marriage counselor agree that I watch too much college football, yet I'd barely heard of this clown. I guess Monte Kiffin drank his milk and fell asleep instead of speaking up for a defensive line that's been busy racking up DUI's and manslaughter charges like the popcorn chicken at a Beamers happy hour.

In Honor of W's Presidential Library Dedication, What Should I Include in My Exhibit at the Blogging Mogul Library?

Pretty simple, really. Accomplished men like Bush 43 and myself know that you've got to leave a little something tangible behind so others can witness your greatness. He's got me beat in the office department since my low-ball bid for the Ritz came up just short, so I'll concede that.

 I'm sure even my bobblehead would make chicks wet, but I think that instead of a figurine of myself, it would be more appropriate to pick one representing where I came from....

Confident, sophisticated. The bow tie says I'm going somewhere more important than here with you, and I'll stomp on your flowers and wave my victory flag on my way out. A proven winner, a born leader.

It's definitely important to let aspiring bloggers get a feel of the day-to-day grind. A little behind the scenes look at what it takes to build a media empire...

 

 

Everyday I get the same tired question... "what do industry tycoons do with their vast riches in their spare time?"

As loyal readers know, every evening I have my attendant fire up the hottub and set a Woodford Reserve and a stoge out. I may not go outside for a week, but if I want to, it's there, fresh every evening. It's not much, but simple pleasure for simple people. I'd even be willing to donate the entire spa to the collection since it's heating up outside anyway.

Sure this sight is usually all about hot chicks and good ol' hetero times, but there was a time in mid-to-late 2011, and a brief re-lapse in 2012, where the reader wasn't so sure about which way this site was swingin'. While I'll take full responsibilty, let's just say it was a dark, experimental time, and there are some things that may forever stay off the record.

Finally, any tribute to WWCD has to include the site's most-viewed post. So with that, we again say hello to Southwest Kia Girl.