Hey Nefi, This Isn't Playing the Yankees on the Road or Anything

You need to get back on the DL to grow that hair back out? After blowing save after save to the Royals, we'll give you a month off, because I'm pretty confident our starters can cleanly average nine innings until you get back. By the way, you want to take Kinsler with you? I can get him a picture of his old hair too. At least this offense is back to World Series form, cause with bullpen help like this, we are going to need back-to-back-back homers a few more times.

By the way - I just feel sorry for the Royals after stealing wins like that on Sunday. Loveable losers just can't catch a break. Even 500 barking dogs and 8 innings of webgem defense couldn't get the W. They're just one of those opponents where beating them is like beating your gritty, outmatched little brother.

Spare Golfers, Drunk Cougars, & Young Executives Just Dominating the Weekend in Las Colinas

Yet another golfer no one has heard of emerged from a pack of spares to pounce on Lord Byron's trophy like an over-tanned 42-year-old divorcée on SMU law students who just passed the bar exam. Neither blistering winds nor ferocious swamp crotch could stop either the resilient Keegan Bradley from winning his first career PGA event or tenacious Dallas Cougars from bagging a weekend full of drunken, sunburned twenty-somethings in a Four Seasons villa. Every PGA tour pro knows that if you can't take the heat or the return of sun-dress season then stay away from Big D.

The Byron Nelson- just another event we have been hosting like a pro lately, from Super Bowls to Fall Classics to NBA Finals to Dallas Cowboy weddings to St. Patrick's Day parades. Straight killing it.

The Heat Won the Championship! The Heat Won the Championship! Or, At Least the East

Miami: Ready the hair gel and gold chains, because Dallas is coming to stay for a few days. Sure you just beat the MVP four games in a row and are probably halfway through a briefcase of Columbia's finest, but it's time to find your white shirt and recall more than three Heat players. Everyone's favorite internet billionaire is bringing with him a Puerto Rican that didn't get there by boat. The Heat are in the Finals, and it's time for everyone in Miami to be a Heat fan again!

Why Aqib Talib Wishes There Was Never a Lockout

GARLAND - Tampa Bay Buccaneers cornerback Aqib Talib has been indicted on a charge accusing him of firing a gun at his sister's boyfriend. Attorneys for Talib said the fourth-year player was indicted on a charge of aggravated assault with a deadly weapon by a Dallas County grand jury on Friday.
Police in the Dallas suburb of Garland have said they believe Talib and his mother shot at the man in March. The man was not injured. Talib is out of jail on $25,000 bond.
Talib is a graduate of Richardson Berkner High School and played at Kansas before joining the Buccaneers.

Everyone in Dallas knows that DFW suburbs like Garland exist soley for trying hard enough to film a whole new season of COPS. However, if Aqib had gotten in the middle of a sister vs. jaded lover squabble in Dallas proper, the cops would have sided with Aqib faster than covering up a Michael Irvin traffic-stop, shot the homeboy themselves, and Aqib could have gone right ahead and hit up Beamers with his boys. Obviously he doesn't have his entourage to help out either, since everybody be cuttin' back and savin' up those paychecks, right? Instead, it's Amateur Hour at the GPD, as the Garland police leave it up to Aqib and his mom, and since a Texan can't make his momma do the dirty work, the former Berkner Wildcat is going to spend his lockout locked up. At least it worked out OK for Vick.

By the way - How do the prison football gangs sort out who gets Talib Island? Is it a racial thing? Surely no one is playing a Black vs. Hispanics football game, unless the blacks have to play blindfolded or something, so I guess it's simple captain's choice? Either way, that half of the field is shutdown city.