SURPRISE - Shortstop Elvis Andrus was scratched from the Texas Rangers’ lineup for Thursday’s game against Cleveland because of a novel ailment: post-tattoo sensitivity. Andrus has new body art on the upper left arm featuring a likeness of his late father. The elaborate needle work caused sensitivity in the biceps area.
Andrus will leave the club on Saturday to join Team Venezuela in its preparations for the World Baseball Classic. If Venezuela were to reach the title game, Andrus would be out of camp until March 20.
Gotta respect the balls on Elvis to roll with the ol' "post-tattoo sensitivity" on the official injury report. Everybody makes up spring injuries to make that tee time, but the day E plays golf is the day I play hockey. I feel like we need to know what these low-rent Dominicans are in such a hurry to get to. Throwin' dice in the equipment shed? Cactus League cockfighting ring? For the fans, Elvis. For the fans.
More importantly, we all know that when Elvis' contract is up after the 2014 season, baseball people say he could be a $100+ million man. Is the kind of bro who uses his arm as a permanent family photo album someone you want to give $100 million dollars to? We did just let Ham-bone walk, right? This is baseball, not prison or the NBA. More importantly, this is Dallas, not some backwoods, small market outpost. If you wanna keep bangin' that broad with a smoker's cough and Cesarean scar in the Sherlocks' bathroom til you're 40, be my guest. Just know that you're probably not gonna find a place on my team.
No comments:
Post a Comment