At Least One Fat Dallas Feminist Still Thinks Pictures of Fat Feminists Will Sell Products

DALLAS - Dallas actress and SMU student Nancy Upton was not pleased with American Apparel’s call for plus-size models. The company, which has a history of what some might call “sleazy” behavior, held an online contest called “The Next BIG Thing” (the emphasis is theirs), looking for “booty-ful” women “XL-ent” enough to model a new line of size 12-14 clothing. While plenty of women submitted standard model-type shots of themselves (think hands on hips, hair blowing in the breeze), Upton sent in photos of herself posing provocatively with various foods. The pictures show Upton in her underwear, pouring chocolate syrup and ranch dressing on herself. Others show Upton eating fried chicken in a pool, naked with only a cherry pie, and laying on a dining room table with an apple in her mouth. (You can see the photos here.)

No matter how many times you tell a chick something, it just doesn't stick, huh? Hot chicks move merchandise. Period. Clothes, cars, computers, cupcakes, condoms, cookbooks, credit cards... doesn't matter. No doubt this cow is a smug humanities major at SMU, because if she actually studied marketing, she would understand why people apparently shop at and enjoy this American Apparel garbage. Newsflash to frumpy feminists everywhere, it isn't because they put up pictures of your fat, under-clothed ass eating fried chicken miles away from a gym. For once, a company even tried throwing a bone at your kind, and this entitled broad can't even take it as a compliment and just say thanks. Sure they were probably never going to really use plus-size model pics and were probably using it as a PR move, but you can't prove that. You had to get your bitter, hipster friends and make an ironically funny-that-wasn't-funny protest piece to commandeer the spotlight instead of simply setting up a few sessions with a personal trainer and switching to salads. Wrong campus, and wrong town, Upton. Don't bring that weak game here. Keep it in Austin where it belongs, and let me know how tough it is to peddle your product when showcasing pasty plus sizes at an innocent, unsuspecting audience. And get your ass in kitchen and make me a ham sandwich after you iron my pants, bitch.