CC Carpet: You Win, We Surrender, Now Please Get the F Outta Here

Congratulations, CC Carpet. You threw a piece of shit against the wall to see if it would stick, and it turned into gold. All month long we've suffered through watching you whore both your daughter and the glory of a Major League Grand Slam so your customers could get a refund on their knockoff formica. Not only did you swindle an honest insurance company out of a cool $500k while managing to get your name thrown around even on Deadspin, but you successfully made me hang my head in defeat when my favorite baseball team scored FOUR runs with one swing during a division chase. This sure as hell better mean that I don't have to watch blondie struggle to find the camera again, which allows us all to dedicate more of our hostility towards the overly-attitudinal Taco Cabana girl.