It's Official: West Village Has Fully Come Out of the Closet

Let's be honest for a minute. For a few years now we've all been growing a little uncomfortable when waiting on a Blue Burger at Burger Bar, and forget getting a drink at Mi Cocina. Food's still fine and all, but it's just impossible not to notice the creeping influence of the Gay on what was once a pretty choice area for bro's looking to get their drink on before walking across the street to the Loon. Well, now I'm afraid our little old West Village has contracted the full-blown gay. They weren't happy taking over Cedar Springs like unassimilating Muslims in a progressive, over-tolerant Euro-state. Now they're bringing Halloween flash mobs outside Taco Diner while you're trying to sip your Mambo Taxi in relative hetero tranquility. If we're not careful, that stripper pole at the Lemon Bar is going to have the Indian chief from the Village People goin' Macho Man on it instead of the blonde heat you used to see when you walked in trying to get pregnant from it. Is there like a scent we can use as a repellent? What about a high-pitched whistle? Is that for gays or dogs? I don't even know anymore!

A New Day

Even with all of the winning in this town, we can't be so naive to think that even the strongest don't go down every once in a while, and when the big boys go down, it hurts. Thursday and Friday in St. Louis happened, and Sunday night in Philly might have even happened.

Don't ever forget that this is a city of winners. When Dallas looks at its dirty laundry and sees that CJ jersey-tee staring back, and can't get the image of that ball going over Nellie's head, just remember, this ain't Detroit or St. Louis. You can get a job in this town, you don't have to shovel snow for half a year, you don't have to fend off smelly hippies, and most importantly, there are hots that losers in other towns dream of, all around us, just begging for guys like you and I who can lay some pipe on a Thursday night after pounding Jager bombs and making the valet guy break a $100. We are so money, and no little baseball game is going to keep us from kicking ass like those other shithole towns dream about.

"D-Town bound, cause Dallas Texas is my city, and I'm gonna represent it..."

Everything's Cool, Guys, Vince Young Was Just Trying to Get $8,000 in $1's That Unforgettable Night in a Dallas Strip Club

DALLAS - Maybe you remember: Back in June of last year, Vince Young got into it with a gentleman named Creiton Kinchen at the strip club Onyx off of Northwest Highway. At the time, story was Young didn't take kindly to Kinchen's flashing him the upside-down "Hook 'Em Horns." A scuffle ensued in the wee small hours of a Sunday morning, and the QB got himself a misdemeanor citation courtesy the Dallas Police Department.

Well, today we find out the rest of the story ... allegedly. And it's so much better than originally told. This morning, Kinchen went down to the Dallas County courthouse and filed suit against the Houston native. Kinchen's suing Young for assault with a deadly weapon ("fist and feet"), and wants unspecified damages for injuries he says he suffered, as well as "mental anguish in the past and in the present."

Says Kinchen, on July 12, he was at Club Onyx, where he serves as "a manager with varied responsibilities," when Young came up to him. Says the suit:

Creiton was working minding his own business in the "cage" area dealing with an employee on credit card issues, when suddenly and without provocation, an intoxicated Vince Young began cursing and making derogatory remarks to Creiton because Creiton refused to sell Vince Young $8,000 (Eight thousand dollars) in $1.00 (One dollar denominations) using Vince Young's credit card. It was Vince Young intention to use the $1.00 bills to tip and throw money at the dancers who would entertain him and his party that evening.

There are many things that a star quarterback in Texas is entitled to... higher education, gifts from anonymous boosters, running a train on sorority girls angry who are angry at their dads, the old police officer look-away, and the like. If there is one absolute though, it's that when frequenting the Titter, a Fort Knox-sized vault must be available for unlimited $20's and $1's. There's a lot of pressure on these guys, and its the least we can do as a respected gentlemen's establishment... hell, as Texans, to allow these heroes to make it rain and motorboat some saggers at the snap of a finger. If this Creiton Kinchen was schooled in Strip Club 101, he'd know you can't turn down a drunk, famous athlete's request for a cash transaction. You wanna charge a 25% transaction fee? Boom. Done. Tits for Vince, tips for the sluts, and Creiton gets to pay that past-notice utility bill on his Carrollton duplex. Everyone wins, really. VY should be suing this guy and Club Onyx for denying him the right to kick ass in a timely fashion. This is Dallas, damnit.

By the Way - No, this picture probably wasn't from that night, but if I was looking this kick ass, I would sure as hell hope someone caught it and used it for a blog post.

Yes, Of Course Derek Holland's Apartment Looks Like This

Livin' The Dream: Derek Holland from MLB Players on Vimeo.

So his cabinets are lined with liquor, his counters are filled with beer pong cups and Doritos, and he sleeps on a blow-up mattress so his parents can stay with him. (Sigh...)  Yes, an entire millions-strong fan base just rested a 40-year-old championship dream on Harold and Kumar's roommate.

Michael Irvin Goes Full Throttle Even at 8th Grade Football Games

Look, I'm all for berating one's own 14-year-old son during a football game, F-bombs and all. It's the American way. You've gotta stay aggressive when motivating kids these days, damn Facebook and rock music. If you're the true #88 though, you've gotta keep your swag first and foremost. Losing your composure next to a bunch of suit-wearing dads and cell-phone-wielding trophy wives in suburbia just isn't a Hall of Fame move, Big Mike. You're better than this. Just get back to the car, light one up, and chill out next time.

Dallas Not Winning in One Thing: Respectable Protests

OAK CLIFF - Occupy Dallas protesters infiltrated an Oak Cliff Wal-Mart this evening -- a demonstration that ended when as many as a dozen Dallas police cars showed up to hustle them out.
"We always planned to march on Wal-Mart," said Dack Decker, who wouldn't exactly blend in at the store with his button-festooned denim jacket and yellow-streaked hair. "But it didn't come together until about 10 minutes before." Decker (real name, he tells me) said he and roughly two dozen protestors went into the store covertly at 6 p.m. and spent 15 minutes stashing fliers inside products.
"Then we blew a whistle." The occupiers "marched down the aisles," Decker said, putting their fliers over price tags, DVD racks, "just anything we could." Then they circled the cash registers, chanting: "We are the 99 percent," "What's disgusting? Union busting," and such.
Police cars began to fill the parking lot. Decker and his compatriots said officers entered the store, lined up in a chain, and herded them out.

This is losing on so many levels I can't even begin to add it up. And in October no less. As if the Rangers starters weren't choking enough, we've got these rookies making the real Occupy windbags look like the '27 Yankees. While the Manhattan crowd is fighting the futile fight at Wall Street Ground Zero, these misguided hipsters think the real battle-ground over imperialism and corruption is a low rent Wal-Mart? Talk about playing flag football while the big boys are playing tackle. Poor Pablo and his four kids are just trying to get some bread, milk, socks, and underwear on a roofer's salary, and now he has to deal with an over-zealous, hyper-idealistic humanities grad student telling him why he should go to Whole Foods and Urban Outfitters while making everyone miss Game One first pitch. Just shoddy protesting, really. You're in DALLAS. You have literally hundreds of establishments to choose from to paint a picture of greed, and you go south of the Trinity to a discount retail outfit? If Occupy was serious, they would dump these clowns faster than it takes to catch a disease in one of their tent cities.

Even Lazy, Ugly Strippers Are Looking for a Handout These Days

DALLAS - Next time you roll into a gentleman's establishment, ask yourself one question: Is this place in violation of the Fair Labor Standards Act of 1938? That's the law that established a national minimum wage and overtime pay. But the women who dance in topless and nudie joints don't make minimum wage and overtime. Which is why, earlier this year, a federal judge in D.C. ruled in favor of four dancers who worked at a place called The House, insisting that they were employees due a fair wage, not merely "independent contractors" shaking it for loose change.

...more and more cases are being filed -- like the one that landed at the Earle Cabell on Friday afternoon, brought by three women who've spent time on the pole at Jaguars Gold Club and are suing the Dallas-based ownership over proper pay.

So let me get this straight... these whores think that a mandated $7.25/hr will solve all their problems? Never mind the lack of any father figure and the occasional cocaine use, we're just going to gloss over all those party pounds, C-section scar and the fact that your on-stage presence is as sexy as a sleepwalking walrus? So your G-string's a few bills short when Def Leppard ends. How about mixing a salad, and a treadmill, and a little enthusiasm? Those flaccid cocks are gettin' up on their own. Time to invest up top and let those Jaguars clients get a little handsy. Let's show a little hustle out there and call yourself a damn professional.

WWCD Covering ALCS Like You Dream About

From Jack Ingram to the ginger ale shower, your WWCD staff was all over it...

Taking the field like champs...

Celebrating as AL champs...

Cards, BrewCrew, who gives a shit. We've all known this team is hotter than backwoods Arkansas moonshine (credit Alex on that birthday gift). City of champions keeps growing. Let's get it done, boys!