Friday, July 6, 2012

Irving-Based Chuck E. Cheese to Exterminate Limp-Dicked Spokes-Mouse for a Kick-Ass Rock Star





IRVING - In a media campaign set to launch Thursday, the parent of the Chuck E. Cheese’s chain hopes to rebrand its spokes-mouse as a rock star. The new campaign, from the Dallas-based Richards’ group, is called “Chuck E. Rocks,” and features the voice of Jaret Reddick, best known as the lead singer and songwriter for the pop-punk band Bowling for Soup.
“It’s the perfect evolution of the brand and one that will speak directly to kids,” Rhonda Zahnen, principal at The Richards Group, said in a statement.
The campaign will launch Thursday with a TV spot focused on belonging. Three other spots will focus on “fun,” “power” and “birthdays,” each named for something a child experiences at Chuck E. Cheese’s. The Irving-based chain also will promote rock star Chuck E. online and in its 554 restaurants.

Well I guess someone just got put back in the birthday rotation, didn't they? There wasn't a harsher buzzkill then hitting up the Cheese and having that squid kill my skeeball domination. Chuck's game has been gone for years, always sporting cheap, outdated clothes with heavily-liquored breath, groping the pregnant moms, and killing the band's trademark chemistry. Even the distracted five-year-olds knew it was time to go, but word on the street is that the wolf and bear caught him hastily disposing a used heroin needle underneath a pepperoni pizza just before going on stage for the afternoon's 47th rendition of "Happy Birthday." Not everybody can handle the celebrity lifestyle for long, but I'm pretty confident Chuck E. Rocks can. Rock star swag for days while crushing the Les Paul, jeans, and Converses. Plus, anybody who emphasizes "fun, power, and birthdays" has a spot on my team anyday.

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