See, Kenyon Martin, This is Why You Can't Have Nice Things

 

 

All pictures from Trulia.com

 

DALWORTHINGTON GARDENS - The Bryan Adams High alum has put his mansion in Dalworthington Gardens on the market. The asking price: $5 million. The 15,000-square-foot “Mediterranean estate” (five beds, six baths) sits on 8.4 acres along Rush Creek, not far from Martin [Arlington] High. It features four bowling lanes, a 10-car garage, seven fireplaces, an immense pool  and, of course, a full basketball court.

Sure, everybody knows a brotha's gotta have marble, black-on-white color schemes, and bowling lanes in his crib, maybe even a few dolphins to class up the joint. Just one problem, unlike that birthday hooker, you can't just put it anywhere. K-Mart even grew up inside the loop and knew better. Shoulda known you can't throw a dart on a map and just expect to have a ballin' club. This thing could come complete with a maid that wakes you up every morning with bacon and a handjob and I'm still not going to Dalworthington Gardens for even a night. He got greedy, felt like he needed a few more fireplaces and toilets. It was more about him than it was about the team. Cannot play with 'em. Cannot win with 'em. Cannot coach with 'em. Can't do it. I want winners. I want people that wanna win.