How About the Balls on the Sacramento Bee Newspaper to Get a Big Laugh at the Expense of the 14 People Who Died in West?

 

So apparently over the weekend there was a big fuss in the Morning News and the Observer over Rick Perry issuing his disgust at the California capital's snickering before the smoke even cleared. The sub-human author even defended it and said he would do it again. I know I'd be pretty pissed too if I had to look at the scoreboard and see my state losing jobs and tax-paying citizens while drowning in billions of debt when compared to the Lone Star State. However, we've got one hard and fast rule around here, and that's to steer clear of death. I'd think an actual, established newspaper could at least try to keep up with our low ethical bar. But how about the lead story being, not the blatant indecency that started it, but Perry's reaction? What the hell's going on around here?

 

By the Way - Only scum-of-the-Earth Observer commenters would continue to use the backdrop of over a dozen brave emergency responders' deaths to go on anti-Rick Perry rants. Makes me feel a lot better about bashing 10-year-olds or pointing and laughing at hard-nippled exercisers.

Marry-F-Kill, NFL Draft Edition: Dallas Cowboys Top 3 Picks

31st pick - Travis Frederick
Center - Wisconsin

47th pick - Gavin Escobar
Tight End - San Diego St.

74th pick - Terrance Williams
Wide Receiver - Baylor

Marry - Travis Frederick
After whoring around with tarted-up, skill position tricks, sometimes you've gotta do what's best for the family. Sure you coulda gotten him much later, but we all know the 'boys can't go another year with their current snapping situation. He might not be the prettiest belle at the ball, but while others' looks will fade, Travis is still gonna log the hours behind the scenes and be that coach on the field.

F - Terrance Williams
Do we need another WR after apparently committing to a two TE set? Probably not. Every once in a while do you need to wear out some buzzed mini-skirt in a Sfuzzi bathroom stall? We're all human. Terrance is that tasty tempress you hazily spot winking in your direction near closing time. You know you shouldn't, but there's so much raw talent, and let's face it, there's just some things the wife won't do.

Kill - Gavin Escobar
I don't care what his last name is and the potential danger that killing him may put me in. I do know that this team has more holes than a Harry Hines hourly motel gangbang. We've got Witten signed through 2017, and Hanna, drafted just last year, signed through 2015 already at the limited position. Both my bookie and marriage counselor agree that I watch too much college football, yet I'd barely heard of this clown. I guess Monte Kiffin drank his milk and fell asleep instead of speaking up for a defensive line that's been busy racking up DUI's and manslaughter charges like the popcorn chicken at a Beamers happy hour.

In Honor of W's Presidential Library Dedication, What Should I Include in My Exhibit at the Blogging Mogul Library?

Pretty simple, really. Accomplished men like Bush 43 and myself know that you've got to leave a little something tangible behind so others can witness your greatness. He's got me beat in the office department since my low-ball bid for the Ritz came up just short, so I'll concede that.

 I'm sure even my bobblehead would make chicks wet, but I think that instead of a figurine of myself, it would be more appropriate to pick one representing where I came from....

Confident, sophisticated. The bow tie says I'm going somewhere more important than here with you, and I'll stomp on your flowers and wave my victory flag on my way out. A proven winner, a born leader.

It's definitely important to let aspiring bloggers get a feel of the day-to-day grind. A little behind the scenes look at what it takes to build a media empire...

 

 

Everyday I get the same tired question... "what do industry tycoons do with their vast riches in their spare time?"

As loyal readers know, every evening I have my attendant fire up the hottub and set a Woodford Reserve and a stoge out. I may not go outside for a week, but if I want to, it's there, fresh every evening. It's not much, but simple pleasure for simple people. I'd even be willing to donate the entire spa to the collection since it's heating up outside anyway.

Sure this sight is usually all about hot chicks and good ol' hetero times, but there was a time in mid-to-late 2011, and a brief re-lapse in 2012, where the reader wasn't so sure about which way this site was swingin'. While I'll take full responsibilty, let's just say it was a dark, experimental time, and there are some things that may forever stay off the record.

Finally, any tribute to WWCD has to include the site's most-viewed post. So with that, we again say hello to Southwest Kia Girl.

Early Frontrunner for Rangers 2013 .Gif of the Year Features Unbridled, Innocent Exuberance, Humiliation

Maybe it's cause we've all been there, chillin' with the bro's on the front row, fist-pumping life, when all of the sudden you're ass-deep in half-eaten nachos and shame. Maybe it's the perfect metaphor for the Rangers 2012 season. Either way, Murphy's really gonna have to have a spectacular trip-over-shoelaces faceplant this summer to top this one. Just know we Rangers' fans keep a high bar around here, kid...

If You Thought Margaret Thatcher's Granddaughter Was Hot Enough to Be from Dallas, You'd Be Right

 

 

 

 

LONDON - Like many hot people, Amanda Thatcher is American. Born in Dallas, she spent the early part of her childhood in Cape Town, South Africa but returned, along with her mother and older brother, to her mother's home state of Texas in 2004 at age 11. The move happened after her father, a former race car driver, was arrested in South Africa for his alleged involvement in a failed coup to overthrow the government of Equatorial Guinea. She now attends the University of Richmond.

Amanda's brother, Michael, a high school football star who majored in chemistry at Texas A&M, was also present at the service but did not read. The siblings were Margaret Thatcher's only grandchildren.

So everybody in England is freaking out about the Iron Lady's 19-year-old grandkid who flat out rocked Ephesians 6:10-18. Just can't enough of the American blonde bombshell, or even her high school football star brother. Like it's some phony American fairy tale. That's what those pasty Brits don't get. Everybody who's anybody in this town is either hot or a high school football star, if not both. Sure the Highland Park connection is kinda rubbing it in, but you shouldn't expect anything less from the family of a great world leader. My only question is how we let this little gem slip through our hands to jump hurdles in podunk Virginia. Gotta do a better job of keeping our talent in the system.

Former Maverick Great @CharleeRedz13 Marries His Pregnant Mesquite Girlfriend

 

DALLAS - You may have been wondering how Delonte West has been spending his free time now that he's on an indefinite hiatus from professional basketball. If Twitter is any indication, he's still in the Dallas area and has mostly occupied himself by making cameos at local gyms and dropping in on middle school basketball practices.

It's now clear that West has been engaged in non-basketball activities as well, namely making babies. He announced this yesterday in typical Delonte fashion.
"..Coud-Gracious-Alive!!...look at my 2 babies!!!....." he wrote on Twitter. "Lil CHARLEEREDZzz...comin soon to a theater near U!"
 
County marriage records identify the lucky lady as the former Caressa Suzzette Madden, whom the Internet identifies as a 24-year-old from Mesquite.

If the past serves as any forecast of the future, I'm sure their lives together will be filled with years of tranquil stability and lucrative employment in a quiet, upscale suburban neighborhood.

Highland Park 10-Year-Old Reminds Us All Why It's Better to Never Fill Out a Bracket

DALLAS - As Michigan and Louisville tipped off in the national title game in Atlanta, 10-year-old Brayden Schager sunk into a couch with a pint of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream. Watching on an 80-inch screen in a converted garage in Highland Park, he remained calm despite being on the brink of history.

If Michigan won, Schager would have the top ranked bracket out of 8.15 million filled out in ESPN’s Tournament Challenge. He correctly picked 12 of the Sweet Sixteen, seven of the Elite Eight (only missing Duke), all of the Final Four and Louisville and Michigan in the finals.
The bracket was created one night over dinner. Schager called his dad, Scott, who was on vacation in Miami, and asked him for help logging in to ESPN. He filled out 10 brackets on ESPN and had another one with a group of friends.
There wasn’t a prize at stake. ESPN will randomly assign a $10,000 Best Buy gift card to one of the approximately 80,000 people who had brackets in the top one percent. This was simply for pride.
Just before the final buzzer, he took a picture with his first-place bracket. A few short seconds later he dropped from No. 1 to No. 38,292. Disappointed, Schrager walked over to his mom, who wrapped him in a hug.

Just so many validations in this story about why I stopped doing brackets that my only regret is I didn't quit sooner.  If Barbara from Accounts Receivable and her cat aren't scoreboarding the entire office, then there's always some cocky 10-year-old who filled out like 17 different brackets. Guess they're not teaching integrity in schools anymore. And how bout the nerve on this Brayden Schager to say he was guessing, as if we're supposed to believe he had binders of data that ran out after the first nine brackets, so he had to fall back on blind intuition? Hey Nostradamus, if you're so confident then what are you doing using ESPN's Grandma League, where out of over eight million entries, the top prize is a 1 in 80,000 chance for a gift card? Talk about rookie ball. Next time put your piggy bank on the line like a man then we'll talk. I'm sure his allowance is about what WWCD piles up in a week anyway. Oh, and next time, how bout you wait until after the game to celebrate. At the end of the day you didn't even crack the top 38,291 and got only a disapproving hug from mom. Choke city, basically.

Dallas' New $3 Billion Midtown Development Unveils Flashy Video, Sexy Demographic Stats

Can't afford the real deal in Uptown? Don't wanna slum it in Addison? Ever felt compelled to go to the Galleria, but wish there was something more compelling nearby? Dallas may just have the perfect place for you. Meet Midtown. Sure, it's like ten miles north of Uptown, but just go with it. The old Valley View Center north of LBJ between Preston and the Galleria will soon be home to a glaring sea of office, condo, and hotel towers, complete with it's own retail and shopping, park, trolley, cable car, and hike and bike trail, just in case you don't like any of those existing offerings in Old Town, or whatever greater downtown will be called by then . At least the double-decker 635 should be wrapped up by then, just in case you ever feel like you have to leave this mini-city for any reason.

How Crappy Are Astros Fans for Cheering for Marwin Gonzalez' Base Hit?

While I'm sure the purists who support the broadcast-mention jinx are all over Busby's ass this morning, I'm troubled at just how terrible Houston fans are for going bonkers after a single down seven to break up a perfect-O. Houston is gonna lose 100 games this season. That hit, and that loss, mean nothing. How great would it be to say you were there for a perfect freaking game? Sure they're just about every week these days, but it still would've been just the 24th in MLB history. However, I vividly remember Mark Buehrle no-hitting the Rangers in 2007, coincidentally to AJ Pierzynski, and it sucked. I was on my feet acting like the pennant was on the line with each fruitless at-bat. Was I sorry then, or was it OK cause I wasn't there and it wasn't a perfect game? Obviously Ranger fans are pissed, so I'm a little biased. Either way, the Astros and their fans made up a lot of ground in the AL West rivalry game. What's the ruling here?