DALLAS - Youngsters in Dallas and across the country made a splash by setting a record for the world’s biggest swimming lesson. All 18 city pools participated in the World’s Largest Swimming Lesson, a national event in which an estimated 25,000 American youth took part, shattering last year’s record of 4,000, according to the initiative’s website.
So the previous World's Largest Swimming Lesson Record was only 4,000 huh? That's nothin. How about shatter it with 25,000? What's that? There isn't a pool big enough? That's OK, because apparently you can set a Swimming Lesson Record in Dallas and include kids a thousand miles away. You know what? I just nailed the hottest girl in New York, even though she was there while I was in Dallas. Doesn't matter, right? Hey, I'm all for helping kids learn how to swim, mainly so that I don't have to jump in and get my skinny jeans and new phone wet when some cocky five year old decides he's Little Mikey Phelps. When the Benefactor is teaching a lesson on kicking ass in Dallas, you can bet every one of the 25,000 youth will pay their exorbitant fee and be accounted for. Next time I hear a story like this there better be a picture with kids packed in like Free Admission Day at the Mumbai Municipal Pool. Until then, get the hell outta here, World's Largest Swimming Lesson.
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